These are not from City Bakery (too crispy and marzipan-y).  Nor Jacques Torres (too sweet).  Not Bouchon (too buttery) either.  After making Levain Bakery copycats, eating the real deal and amassing 310+ comments, those are close but no cigar.

My favorite chocolate chip cookies are not from a bakery per se. I’ve been telling people about them for years, but it hasn’t caught on. So now I’ll shout it out for everyone to hear.

First, some criteria. Chocolate chip cookies should not be the size of your face. Bouchon, you sophisticated French bakery, what were you thinking? Maybe you can take a page from French Women Don’t Get Fat about portion control. Second, CC cookies should not be crispy. Then they’re just like crackers and what’s the point? Lastly, CC cookies cannot have nuts. It totally disrupts the texture. Okay, I’ll let the nut people put nuts in their cookies, but not mine.

The magical place I speak of is Times Square Hot Bagels on W. 44 St. and 7 Ave. They’re one of the few places in New York that makes traditional bagels, but never mind that, we’re talking cookies here.  They’re pliable, toffee-esque (probably from brown sugar) and chock full of chocolate CHUNKS.  One will set you back about 80 cents (they’re $12.50/pound). You can eat one or two and be satisfied without feeling gross afterwards. Since they’re at the crossroads of the world, you don’t have an excuse not to try them.

I first heard about these through church. After service, there was a huge table of humble-looking cookies. I was wowed and only had these clues: a checkerboard logo and some name with “Times Square.” Eventually, I tracked down the store.

A little caveat: sometimes the cookies from the shop are a bit hard. They can easily be fixed with a sprinkle of water and 10 seconds in the microwave. The only guarantee of getting a fresh cookie is to attend the evening service at Redeemer church. Try it: you might like the cookies. And the service. Senior pastor Tim Keller is like a modern day C.S. Lewis. He randomly speaks throughout the day, but he’s always at the 6:00 service at the Hunter College auditorium (69 St. between Park and Lex). Well actually he’s on vacation (no doubt reading more philosophical material) till Aug. 16, but you get the idea.

Times Square Hot Bagels
200A W. 44 St. (by 7 Ave.)
New York, NY 10036
212-997-7300

Photo: Robyn Lee/The Girl Who Ate Everything

In the frozen dessert department, frozen yogurt and Van Leeuwen ice cream (which seriously sucks) have over-saturated my taste buds.  But there’s a small shop in Brooklyn that I’ll never grow tired of.  Everything about Blue Marble, from the countertop to the ice cream, is sustainable.  During a time when “organic,” “farm fresh,” and “fair trade” are often just marketing terms, Blue Marble lives up to its image.

If you think the chocolate ice cream looks good, wait till you try the strawberry. Photo: Danny/Food in Mouth

The fresh strawberry ice cream is amazing.  No icy shards, just sweet and tangy fruit.  Not like those giant, bland Driscoll’s berries.  These strawberries taste like the kind from the farmers market.  The fair trade chocolate ice cream is very good, but even a chocoholic like me would rather have the strawberry.  It’s that good.

Blue Marble Ice Cream
Boerum Hill-420 Atlantic Ave., Brooklyn
Prospect Heights-186 Underhill, Brooklyn

компютри втора употреба

My favorite brand of plain frozen yogurt (not Pinkberry) has just arrived in Times Square! One month ago, A Zest Cafe started serving Frogurt, the ultra-smooth and refreshingly tangy treat. A small is $3.50, a large $4.50. It doesn’t get any better than this, unless you make your own.

Another landmark, Grand Central station, has Frogurt too, but not the plain flavor. Also, watch out for the warm machines, which makes the yogurt melt quickly. Maybe someone should ask them to calibrate their machines.

The cheapest place for Frogurt (only $2.50) is at Zabar’s Cafe, but it’s all the way on the Upper West Side, and they close at 7:00 P.M. While you’re there, you can also try the frozen custard, but never order the babka muffin, which wins the award for driest muffin.

A Zest Cafe, 1441 Broadway (by 40th St.), New York, NY (212-398-9378)

Ben & Jerry’s/Oren’s Daily Roast, Grand Central Terminal, New York, NY (212-953-1028)

Zabar’s Cafe (sold as Zaberry), 2245 Broadway (at 80th St.), New York, NY (212-787-2000)

Photo: Zabar’s

It’s hard to believe that chocolate can make someone grumpy, but that was the case at New York’s 10th annual Chocolate Show last Friday. The show has declined in recent years, with cheap-o brands slowly taking over the artisan booths. Of course there were stand-outs, but do you really need another cliche “chocolate is delicious” wrap-up? Instead, I’m going with the more entertaining (and arguably more useful) Worst in Show.

Greedy if you ask me!

Photo: Niko/Dessert Buzz

When the Chocolate Show first began, it only cost $5 to get in and sample chocolates from all over the world. Two years ago, the admission ballooned to $25, and this year, it again rose to $28. In the words of a fellow chocolate lover: “Greedy if you ask me!” Upon entering, the coat check costs $2 (you can’t really skip out on this in chilly NY), and water costs another $2 (you need something to wash all that chocolate down). You’ve just spent $32 without eating a single piece of chocolate.

Sample Snobbery

A note to the booths: please stop hiding your samples. Visitors just spent $28 on admission and are entitled to a taste. They don’t enjoy inquiring about a possible sample, hearing a long sales pitch and then getting their requisite treat at the end. Ironically, the more the vendors gushed about their chocolate, the worse the product tended to be.

Photo: Robyn Lee/The Girl Who Ate Everything

Some vendors offered samples up front, but they came with tweezers and little spoons. I understand we’re all concerned about cleanliness, but when there’s 20 people waiting in line, using chopsticks to pick up pebble-sized chocolates is hardly efficient. At the very least, please offer more than one spoon per bowl. And when vendors slice a piece of a truffle and insist on handing it to me, I just think, “I’m perfectly capable of picking up my own chocolate!” True, there are some people who horde samples in plastic containers, but it’s not fair for the rest of us.

Shiki Matcha Crunch truffles, why must I pay $2 to sample you?

The worst policy is not even offering samples at all. I think the chocolates should sell themselves, and if I can’t try them, I won’t buy them.

The Bad and the Irrelevant

Being a chocolate show, you’d think that every booth sold something related to chocolate. Let’s just say that this year’s show offered one-stop shopping, so you could get a Capitol One Visa card, a subscription to the NY Times and book a Marriott vacation.

Photo: Robyn Lee/The Girl Who Ate Everything

Two booths sold cocoa-rolled truffles that were ostensibly from France and had hydrogrenated vegetable oil. The French would roll in their graves if they had to eat these!

Photo: Niko/Dessert Buzz

Mars also had their own booth. Not only were they out of place, but they pretended to be up to par with the prestige chocolatiers. They bragged about selling 100% real chocolate, but did you know that they’re part of the Chocolate Manufacturer’s Association, the same trade group that wanted to replace cacao butter with shortening in chocolate? Last month, Mars turned around and said they’d only sell chocolate with 100% cocoa butter, as they always have. That’s not true. Dove dark chocolate (which I admit tastes pretty good) has milk fat and technically isn’t pure chocolate.

Bueller, Bueller, anyone?

The same chocolate lover above reported that some exhibitors had no idea where their cacao beans came from or whether they were bought for a fair price. Call me a snob, but how and where cacao is grown makes a world of difference in the finished product. When vendors don’t know their product, it’s unattractive to the consumer.

In another puzzling case, Gobo restaurant demoed a vegan chocolate cake, which called for vegan flour and vegan cocoa powder. It pains me to say this, since Gobo and its sister restaurant, Zen Palate, are among my favorites in the city (and the owners are really nice), but I almost laughed at those ingredients. Flour comes from a plant. Cocoa comes from a plant. When are animals involved? If you can find me animal-derived cocoa, I’ll give you a lifetime supply of vegan cocoa as a consolation.

For the Chocolate Show highlights, visit Dessert Buzz and NYCnosh.

Pastry chefs differentiate between chocolate and chocolates — the first is a pure ingredient, while the second is a confection. Think of it this way: you savor chocolate like fine wine, but you hand out chocolates during Halloween.

To illustrate the difference, New York magazine had renowned pastry chef Francois Payard taste 14 chocolates a couple years ago. The results were entertaining but very telling.

Payard on Junior Mints: “I know these are meant to be refreshing. I wouldn’t say it tastes like toothpaste, but something like that.”

On Ferrero Rocher: “Ewgh, no, this is terrible.”

On Cadbury Dairy Milk: “No, this one is not good; it’s too dense, too thick with sweetness. This is like Belgian chocolate; it tastes very fatty. There’s no interesting character. You can’t even enjoy the cocoa liquor in it.”

If you’re like me and love Halloween candy but not its overwhelming sweetness, you can make your own PB Cups, Almond Jays, Twixts and Snickles, thanks to Chow.com! They even have diagrams, videos and printout candy wrappers.

If you don’t want to go through the trouble, here’s some store-bought options in New York.

Photo: Robyn Lee/The Girl Who Ate Everything

La Maison du Chocolat – This premiere shop sells giant roches and nougats, all with their proprietary blend of Valrhona chocolate.

Tumbador Chocolate – Jean-Francois Bonnet, formerly of Daniel restaurant, now has his own chocolate factory in Brooklyn. For a classically trained chef, he’s surprisingly playful with the s’more and PB&J candy bars. You should try these not just for their deliciousness, but because he’s a really nice guy. I only wish the base chocolate weren’t Callebaut, which has a weak flavor. Available at Fresh Direct.

Lion Bar – This candy bar is a mix between a Kit Kat and a 100 Grand: crispy, crunchy and caramely. Because it’s from the UK, it’s also less sweet than American candy. Available at Economy Candy and Fairway.

Of course, you can always get a free bag of generic candy at KMart. Coupon expires on Halloween.